"During My Top Surgery Consultation, My Partner Says to the Doctor, Tell Me What You Will Do To Their Veins" by Kayleb Rae Candrilli

During My Top Surgery Consultation, My Partner Says to the Doctor, Tell Me What You Will Do To Their Veins

and no answer will satisfy true
blood flow or this boy who loves me.
 
The truth is, as I sleep, everything directly above
my heart will be cauterized.
 
Facts are difficult
if you are able to recognize them
 
as fact. I am scared
of my partner
 
being face to face with my blood
because I love them.
 
When we talk of the future, my future chest is as flat
as our future backyard. We plant
 
a lemon tree and it grows
even in winter.




Originally published in Tinderbox Poetry Journal, appears in All the Gay Saints (Saturnalia Books, 2020)

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Kayleb Rae Candrilli is the recipient of a Whiting Award, a PEW fellowship, and of a fellowship from the National Endowment of the Arts. They are the author of Winter of Worship, Water I Won’t Touch, All the Gay Saints, and What Runs Over. You can read more of Candrilli’s work here.

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